HAPPY 50TH TO ME!!

It's my birthday!! Big deal right? Yes!! But even bigger is the fact that it's my 50th birthday!!
Now I could go on and on about how young I look for 50 (LOL) and maybe even talk about the things I have accomplish in my 50 years, or about how I don't look 50, or about how old my young children make me feel sometimes, because I had kids later in life, or about how young I look for 50 or about the things I have yet to accomplish in my remaining years or about how great I look for 50. Instead I will focus this blog on how much God's has done for me in this half a century AND about how great I look for 50! Lol!
While several scriptures come to mind, as I think about this day, I will share just a few of my top ones, as it pertain to how much God has done for me in these 50 years. I have slightly edited one word in the following verse, to fit my case more specifically:
1. I have been young, and now am old(er); yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. (Psalms 37:25)
In this short span of time, 50 years, by comparison to how old David may have been when he wrote this, I can also say with confidence, this can serve as the theme verse for my life. In just the last 7 years, I have become a single parent, having lost a marriage that I thought would go til death or rapture, lost a job that I was sure to be the career from which I'd retire, suffered great financial hardships, from which I continue to climb from under today, and wavered in my trust in God to supply all that my children and I need to survive. However, more importantly, in my 50 years, I have been protected, provided for, comforted, encouraged and saved by Grace, by an Almighty God, who was not surprised or caught off guard by any of my woes.
Through all my struggles, He was there. In my doubt, He was there, in my fear and uncertainty, He was there, when I failed and fail  Him, he was and is there, when I complained, He was there. Still today, on my 50th birthday, He continues to be there.
Somehow, and those of you who are familiar with the God I serve, can understand what I mean when I say, SOMEHOW, all that I have needed, His hand hath provided, Great is His faithfulness unto me.
When I lost my job, my bills, though sometimes paid late (LOL) never went unpaid. My children and I never went hungry. My mortgage continued to be paid, through so many doors He opened. Today, the job I have, is not what I set out to do careerwise, but God opened this door and, not only do my children get to attend one of the greatest schools there is, but my job allows me the opportunity to impart into the world's next generation, all while being near my kids. And although, I don't necessarily get to be a writer as a career, I get to write really long Facebook post like this, from time to time (LOL).
In my 50 years, I can proudly say I am a Veteran, having retired from the greatest branch there is, ARMY, after honorably serving 23 years!
I have been blessed with two beautiful children, who often give me a run for my mental money. Lol! They are both smart, intelligent children, but most importantly, they have both given their lives to Christ. That was my biggest desire where my children were concerned. Now, on to living it out and going to college of course … Lol.
As of my more recent blessings, I have embarked on a new (old) relationship, which has made me so very happy. It feels good to be loved and important, after a long stretch of “All about my kids.” You single parents will understand that. As we take it one day at a time, I look forward to getting to know him again and simply enjoying time with him. And maybe even….
As I look back over these 50 years, I can attest to the fact that trusting God has been my sanity container. Yes, I have wavered in my faith. I have been fearful that things were not going to be OK. But, in every situation, circumstance, trial or tribulation, God has NEVER moved. When things don't seem to be going the way I think they should, I need only trust Him, which brings me to my final birthday verse, my favorite Scripture, mainly because I have to remind myself of it so much on this journey called life:
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6)
If you've read this far, thank you! Just wanted to share my thoughts on this important day! And let's not forget share how young I look for 50. LOL!!!

Happy Proverbial Mother's Day

Being a Mother is by far the most difficult job there is, in my opinion. It is often a thankless job and one without monetary benefits. With motherhood, small pay comes throughout the life of the child in the form of obedience, educational accomplishments, Godly character qualities, future career accomplishments, family life, etc. However, mothers often don’t see the fruits of their motherly labor until decades later.

And while mothers love and nurture their children from day one, Charles Stanley says, “The greatest gift a mother can give her children is her example of love and obedience to God.”

Often time we think the significance of a mother is rooted in our time as children, but as adults, we still need our mothers. We still need their unconditional love, their support, their encouragement, their godly wisdom and their ability to tell us the truth in love, even when it hurts.

Now I realize that I am the next generation to take of the mantle of motherhood. I must strive to be the godly mother God has commanded me to be. I must study God’s Word, believe His Word, Live His Word and Share His Word. Those of us with children must now pass on godly wisdom. Despite what was done right or wrong during our childhood, we as Women of God are called to “come out from among them and be separate.” We can’t allow our children to be lost in the shuffle of, “let them find themselves,” or the “freedoms rooted in sinful lifestyles,” or the most infamous idea of being your child's friend to gain their love and respect.

In our daily lives as Godly Mothers, we should strive to be Proverbial women. While we often hear the verses read, what do they actually mean to us? She is an honorable woman, a righteous woman, she cares for the things of, and people in her household. She is a hard-WORKING woman. She is never idle, always finding something of godly substance to do.
At the end of the day, being a mother may be the hardest job, but it is definitely the most rewarding. As I watch my two children grow and learn, I see that, although sometimes I think they are not listening and learning what I'm teaching, they are in fact doing just that. I watch them show godly character in situations and show love towards others and I can't help but say, Thank you Lord for the opportunity to instill in them what I received from my mother, a life lived for God's glory.
Today, and all other days, let's be found Proverbial! It is my prayer that today will only be a glimpse of how amazing you are.

New love found only in Christ

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11‭-‬13 NKJV
I’ve heard this verse a lot over the years, from it being preach over the pulpit, to it being a memory verse for my kids in school, to people just generically quoting it as an inspirational word from the Lord just for them. But let me take a moment to tell you what it means to me at this time in my life.
If I may continue on my transparent journey – Often, as of lately, I struggle with loneliness. I long for conversation about basically anything, but to include my thoughts and feelings on anything and everything. As a parent I am concern for the needs of my children, and rightfully so, they are my responsibility. But there comes a time in my day-to-day when I simply want to say - in my Color Purple voice to Harpo - “What about me?” You Color Purple fans will get that. Lol!
If I'm may continue in my honesty, I don't think I have ever experienced true relationship love – the kind between a man and a woman. I have yet to witness the sacrificial love described in Scripture. The hard love found in the pit of your stomach and the ache in your chest kind of love.
I've had the “cry your eyes out, why is he leaving me,” the “why doesn't he show me he loves me,” the “who is she love,” and the  “I want a divorce love,” but never the unconditional love, “anything for you, for us” kinda love. Yes, I know God loves me, unconditionally and sacrificially. But, without going into details, you know what I'm talking about. That being said, let me stay on topic.
Everyone God created, He created with purpose. God knew His plan and purpose for us before the foundation of this world. With that in mind, I strive daily to stay within His will and plan for my life, and no, I'm not always successful in the run of a day. This verse says his thoughts of me are of peace and not of evil:
He wants me to be at peace in my mind and in my body and in my spirit. How do I get that peace? Philippians 4:6-7 tells me if I'm anxious for nothing, but pray about everything, letting the Lord know my heart with thankfulness for what He has done and is doing, ask Him for what I need, THEN I can have that peace that passes all understanding. AND that peace will keep my heart and mind through Christ Jesus.
Next, He wants to give me a future and a hope.
The future He desires(ed) for me can be, and has been at times delayed, off track, or on hold, simply because I chose to not obey. I either wavered in my faith about what He said he would supply and attempted to HELP God supply my needs or my wants, which I described as needs, in the hopes that he would supply them if I labeled them correctly.
The Bible says in Hebrews 11, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
In order for God to give me the desires of my heart – a sincere, godly relationship - I must be found in His will for my life. I must seek him with my whole heart and the desires of my heart will match what He has for me. I must stop wavering in my faith because I don't see it happening when I think it should.
The last portion says, Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
If a godly relationship it what I want, THEN I must ask Him for it, trust Him for it and then Obey Him for it.
If you've ever read my writings, you know me to be good for saying trust God and Obey God. Today, I need you to tell me this. If you have my number text it to me, email it to me, Facebook it to me. Hold me accountable to God's will for my life. If He desires me to have another relationship, pray that I will truly WAIT on Him, trust Him and Obey Him.
Although my true friends list is short, I know I have a few people out there who truly love me and care for me and want the best for me - God's best - that is. Hold me accountable to GOD, my faith walk, my obedience journey.
If you've read this far, I thank you in advance for your support and for your prayers.