Mother - the ultimate role model

Brenda hasn't seen her five children in a year. Actually, this 35-year old mother only gets to see her kids once a year. You see, she is serving an 11-year sentence for arson in a California prison.
Visually, nothing about Marlene says mother. With here tattoo-covering arms, neck and chest, the 24-year old - simply put - looks hard. Her short life has been a whirlwind in and out of trouble. Her latest crime - robbery, has landed her in a state prison for six year. That will be two more years away from her 4-year-old son.
A week ago, I visited a women's prison with an organization that takes kids to visit their incarcerated parents.
As I watched these women nervously pace the floor, fix their hair and anxiously watch the security door through which their children would enter, I found myself pitying them. Although they were women who had been convicted of serious crimes, they were mothers. Mothers who loved their children, but whose very bad choices had taken away their privilege to raise them, spend time with them or even something as simple as read them a bedtime story.
At the sight of the children, dozens of mothers smiled and cried as they moved anxiously toward the door to greet their children.
And so began the clock. Four hours - that's right, four hours was all they had to spend with the children, who many of them had not seen in as long as two years. Mothers led children to tables filled with arts and crafts, where the children would draw pictures for their mothers. Others played board games, while still others played on the fenced in playground topped with barbed wire.
Finally came that dreaded moment - saying goodbye. The laughter stopped and the tears again began to flow as mother and child embraced.
As a mother, it's hard to fathom being away from my two children for years. Often I find myself missing them during the few hours in a school day.
For these incarcerated mothers, time has allowed many of them to assess the effects of their actions.  In the quietness of their cells many have accepted their punishment,  taking full responsibility for their crimes.
As a mother, do you sometimes find yourself taking for granted the time you spend with your children? Have you forgotten the importance of your role as a mother?
A mother not only disciplines her children when they do wrong, thus teaching them the consequences of their actions, she loves unconditionally, values the special moments, encourages and compliments her child(ren).
So, mothers, the next time you look at your child, think about the importance of the impact you have in what that child will become. Search the Scriptures for God's instructions on rearing children. I encourage a daily read of the Proverbs. Live a godly-life before them so that your light leads them to Christ. Never underestimate the knowledge a child has where The Lord is concerned.
Take a minute to think about the incarcerated mothers, many of whom are longing to hold their child, to spend time with them and to teach them right from wrong.
Often, mothers are the epitome of the following Army motto: we do more before 6 in the morning than some people do all day. Make sure that what you do in the run of a day counts in the long run....eternity.

The PEACE of God

I've been having some trying times over the last year or so - scraping around trying to find that thing that any average person wishes for in their everyday life - PEACE. 

One would think as a Bible-believing Christian - I say that because there are those who identify themselves as Christians who don't believe the Bible to be true - I would be quite familiar with the one and only Almighty God who possesses the peace I so desperately need everyday.

Well, actually I am. However, there are times, like in recents months, when I have totally allowed others and different circumstances to invade my peaceful place. 

I've shed more tears than I care to mention, for fear that I may hear the distant chants of my childhood, "cry baby, cry baby." Anybody remember that? Anyway, enough of that.

I am extremely thankful to God for surrounding me with people who refuse to jump in the pity party ditch with me, but who remain on the outskirts of that, often deep place, with a life preserve of Scripture to save me from drowning in my sorrows.

One Wednesday, in a mere effort to appease my 5-year old daughter, I attended Bible study at @Cottonwoodchurch. She has missed her children's church so much. There was a guest minister @mikekeyes who spoke on Peace. Who knew, but God, that I needed that sermon. 

He shared several Scriptures on the peace of God, all of which, in my 44 years in the church, I had heard. But somehow it hit me in such a way I found myself in tears as I listened to God speak directly to me, never mind the other few hundred people who were there. 

I was reminded that I and I alone had been ALLOWING people and circumstances to rob me of my peace. No more. Enough is enough! I will trust God, despite the circumstances that surround me and rise up to taint my character, my worth and my dignity. I will trust God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are his works and it's time my soul acknowledges that. 

If you have allow people and/or your circumstances to rob you of your joy and your peace - whether it's work, family or life in general - cast those cares at the feet of Jesus and trust him at his word. Study his word. Draw nigh to God, resist the devil and he will, he has to flee!

I don' t know about you, but I'm getting my joy and my peace back. The Joy of The Lord is my strength and the peace from God surpasses ALLLLL understanding.

I'm almost 44 NOT 4!

Now I know I harp a lot about not liking it when someone treats me like a child, but so what, here I go again.
Do you ever find yourself surrounded by people who act as if you were either born yesterday or simply have no idea what you're doing, even though you've been doing it for years? I do.
Without calling any names I'd like to just say this; if I do something differently from the way you would do it, it doesn't make if WRONG, it just makes it DIFFERENT, so stop suggesting I change the way I do it.
Not liking the way I do something also does not make it wrong, it just makes it not the way YOU would have done it, so stop suggesting I change the way I do it.
After 23 years in the military, you would think civilians would respect you for having stood in the gap for their freedoms and trust you know what you're doing for the most part and let you be. NOT SO!
I am in no way saying that I'm right in the way I do all things. What I am saying though is, don't try to teach me in a condescending way. I am NOT a child! Speak to me with respect and in turn I just may listen to your advice or suggestions. Don't scold me like you gave birth to me. I have parents, neither of which I allow to tell me what to do or to talk to me like I'm their child again. I can often to heard telling my mom my age, as if to say, "I'm old enough to do what I want." With her, however, I remain in a tone of joking because I know, at even my age, saying the wrong thing could get me hurt. With EVERYONE else however, I mean it. I ain't your child and I don't appreciate being treated like one. Don't talk down to me like I'm stupid. The era of Roots and the "Yesir Master, is over. My name is still Kunta Kinte, not Toby. If what I am is not WRONG, Stop trying to conform me to what you would have me to be.   Nuff Said! Maybe.

Military Retirement: Oh Happy Day!

After 23 years, I'm finally done! I was 19 when I joined the Army in 1988. I grew up and learned to be responsible quite fast. I traveled and went to one "war" while on active duty. In 1992, I left active duty at the age of 24, ready for the world, I thought. But less than 24 hours after I returned home, duffle bag still in the living room floor, the Rodney King Riots broke out. I questioned if I should have come home at all. I was really torn for some time after that. I mean, you expected to fight the enemy. You know you need to watch your back with them, but here I was looking out my front window watching my neighbors burn down our neighborhood. I didn't get it, and in that moment I really toyed with the idea of turning around and going back into active military.
But I didn't. I did, however, remain in the Army Reserves, where I attended weekend drills and continued to be "on standby" for my active duty comrades for the next 20 years. Thankfully, that never happened.
On March 15, 2012, I officially became a member of the Retired Army Reserves. Oh what a happy day. Don't get me wrong, I never hated the military. I got tired of it from time to time. I dreaded possibly being deployed again, but being in the military taught me so much and over the years I was blessed to met some amazing people, who are still my friends today.
In fact, just this past weekend, April 14-15, I was blessed to be able to travel to Huntsville, Al., to hang out with some of those military friends. It had been 20 years since I'd seen any of them. We all served together at Ft. Ord, Ca. and in Operation Desert Shield/Storm in Saudi Arabia. With these guys I can truly say I've developed a bond that will last a lifetime.
Even after seeing them for the first time in two decades, we fell back into the comfortable groove of friendship, as if we were picking up where we left off. Thank God for FaceBook, for it was there where I found most of them again.
For two days, 1 1/2 for me, because I spent most of my first day in the Chicago airport, (that's another blog) we sat around and remembered all the good times, the bad times, the bad things and the good things we did those many years ago. It was as if, I had never left these guys. They were the same. They were genuine. They were my friends. They are still my friends today. I love these guys. Jimmie Sprague, Kurtrell & Rosa Jackson, Michael Sloss, Dwayne Mayberry and Dave "The Boss" Ross. 8th Evacuation Hospital SUPER 8.

I look forward to getting together again next year.

True friends

True friends are a thing of beauty, but are also very rare. I believe that if we all had just one person in our life not afraid to lovingly tell us the truth about ourselves, and some of the stupid things we do and say, this would be a much better world. Today, I plan to tell the truth, even though I may not be your friend.
While many of us can’t seem to imagine what we’d do without social media, there are times when I wonder if some of us would be better off, maybe even safer without it. With the invention of social media, avenues of communication have expanded beyond what anyone could have ever thought. But, while it can be a good thing, like finding loved ones or friends you haven’t seen in decades, it can also be a reputation buster.

In the three years since I joined FB, I’ve accumulated nearly 700 FB “friends.” If I’m being honest, nearly half appeared when they found out I was #NateDogg’s sister and then only after his death. But, back to the other truths I’m here to share. Unfortunately, I’ve had to UNFRIEND several people for an array of different disrespectful reasons. And my un-friending, has no respect of persons - from blood relatives to people I’ve only known through FB, I can delete you with the best of them. For vulgar language to extremely provocative photos, I MUST delete them for not only my eyesight, but for those of my toddlers, who can often be found on my lap as I browse the computer sites.

I have found myself private messaging to tell others about themselves concerning some of the stupid things they post on Facebook. Why is it so hard to believe that disrespectful decisions, whether to yourself or to others, do come back to bite you in the rear? For example, what happens when that great career opportunity or a relationship possibility comes along and up pops some photo of you half naked in a provocative pose as if you are soliciting yourself on Pacific Coast Highway? Those of you from the #LBC know what PCH is all about.

I just want to take this time to share a few ways to recognize true friends:

1.      They tell you the truth no matter how bad it hurts.

2.      They tell you the truth BEFORE you embarrass yourself in front of thousands.

3.      They tell you the truth to help you avoid the consequences that come with bad decisions.

4.      They tell you the truth, but still love you when you make stupid decisions anyway. J

Now, if you want to know what triggered this blog, all can say is this, If you post a pic of yourself on a social media outlet, looking like you are either stepping onto the Boulevard or on your way there, don’t be surprised about the repercussions sooner or later. And if your “friends” are posting things like, “Girl, you look good,” or “That’s a cute outfit,” or “You are so Fine,” or “You go Girl,” or my favorite, “Sexy,” then you need to rethink those friendships because somebody is lying.

If you’re STILL my FB “friend” meaning, I have not deleted you and, after this you have not deleted me, J and you think I might be talking to you, I probably am.

One of the best things I heard, sometime in my early 20s, after learning for myself that being half naked was NOT sexy, was “there’s a difference between TRASHY AND CLASSY!
Ladies, you got respect yourself before you can expect a REAL MAN to respect you.

Grammy's or Garbage?

Was anybody else as bored as I was watching the Grammy's Sunday night? I mean 3 hours of who knows what. Literally, I didn't know most of the people performing or getting awards. Either I'm old or I'm watching way too much Nick Jr with the kids to notice other things. At times I felt like I was watching the CMAs (Country Music Awards). That means way too much praise for country music when it's suppose to be a diversity of music. Also, I don't feel like African-American, blacks or coloreds, whatever we are at the Grammy's, were represented at all. There was very little Gospel, as if it doesn't sell and very little anything else. Adele sweep the floor with all the American artist. Now, I ain't hating, cause the girl can sing, but it was as if the same 4 or 5 people/bands were nominated in each category.
Who are the people who sit on the board of decision makers and vote for who wins or who performs at the Grammy's? Seriously, what in the world was that mess #NickiMinaj did at the Grammy's? Whoever invited her should have been fired immediately following her exorcism. I mean really? The Grammy's was NOT the setting for that satanic foolishness. That should have been saved for her own personal concert, if she's even good enough to hold her own at a full concert. Doubt it based on that performance. First, I didn't get it. Second, couldn't understand a word of it. And third, I'm sure there were kids watching and attending who didn't need to see that stupidity. And don't get me started on the parents who actually DO let their kids listen to music like that. You ever wonder why little Johnnie is a hellion? And don't try to soothe your conscience by saying "music doesn't make people do stupid things."

Some good things I did like about the Grammys: Bruno Mars' performance was very entertaining. He was like a mixture of Elvis, The Temptations, The Four Tops and James Brown all in one. Jennifer Hudson did an outstanding job on Whitney's tribute song. And I was touched by the fact that they listed my brother #NateDogg among those we lost last year in death. I know, he was known in the music industry, but with all his talent, he didn't get his props while he was living. Some in part to Suge Knight's greed and stupidity, really, how you gonna be a business gangster? You ain't the mafia. You from the hood. Learn how to make money, invest money and give back to those around you. Oh, that's right, it's too late to give him advice, he's broke, busted and disgusted. Now, while much of my brother's music was vulgar and used too much profanity for my personal taste, seeing as how I don't curse anymore, the music industry has yet to embrace good semi clean hip hop or even to take those with true talent, like my brother, under their wings and teach them the ropes of what the big wigs want in the music game.

Well, after 3 hours of that, those are the only things I can truly say I enjoyed. Grammy staffers, you missed the mark this year, really. Better luck next time. You got an entire year to listen to ALL music, despite race, color, creed or genre. Try to make the Grammys look like the melting pot this world really is and get the minority music off the back of the Grammy bus.

Condo Complex Parties - Really?

Hey Neighbors,

If a large number of your party guest spill out into the front (quad area) of your condo complex, RENT A PLACE to host your party. It only makes sense, because not only are they taking all the parking along the street they are double parking in your complex area: Can you say inconsiderate? Why do I have to come to a party I wasn't invited to? Not that I would come anyway. I can hear you asking, How do I pay for renting this place? Well, if all these guest are you friends who so badly wanted to come to your party - CHARGE A COVER!
Now, for the parents who insist on having their kid's party inside the complex - you rent the huge jumper which you have blown up in the parking area of the complex (BLOCKING PARKING SPACES). The kids run wild throughout the complex like it's a playground, NOT! And then there are the really bad kids who let the air out of the jumper, WHILE OTHERS ARE IN IT! Where are the parents you asked: inside chillin'.
Is it stupid of me to expect people to be considerate of others? No, No, let me answer, YES it is because these are the days which the Bible describes as the last days when people will be LOVERS OF THEMSELVES! In other words SELFISH!